Gentleness...A Fruit of the Spirit

I have spoken to you before about my issue with sensitivity. Well, yesterday presented itself to be QUITE a challenge to my human capabilities, as I struggled with my oldest child during our homeschooling session. Unfortunately, this school year, it is NOT unusual for her to breakdown in tears during the course of a school day; especially during a certain subject that she does not feel is her forte. Yesterday, I guess I had JUST HAD IT, with all the tears, attitudes of defeat, frustration, negativism, etc... I was about to blow a gasket; and had gotten to the point where I had resorted to asking her not to return to the table for class after lunch and then ignored her completely (I know this sounds awful). She cried and sulked even more, and I callously finished lunch and reconvened class at the table, beginning with journal writing. I wrote in my journal as well and penned: I have seriously extreme problems dealing with my daughter. I understand being sensitive and gentle, but she is about to cause me to "jump off the bridge" in my insides. I CANNOT deal with her! I cannot deal with her daily, constant emotions about EVERYTHING!.....(as few sentences later I went on to write)...At the end of the day, it is really horrible how deeply I feel this frustration...(and on I wrote until journal writing was over).

During this time of writing, my daughter had quietly joined us at the table and wrote as well. I am SURE she had her own choice words to say about me and my issues. By the end of journeling, things were calm and we went on with the rest of our subject areas for about another hour and a half.

At the end of the school day, I dashed up to the computer (for my "ride home") to research information on how to be a more sensitive person. After reading a devotional from my email and finding some one's blog from 2007 on the issue, I came to some real revelations about myself and my behavior. I got off the computer and begin to journal about how great God was and how thankful I was that He had helped to make the rest of the school day go more smoothly.

As I was writing, I realized that although I have known that my lack sensitivity and understanding towards others needed to be worked on, I had never really been repentant of the behavior. It's like I had known that I needed to change, but my efforts to change had primarily been driven by the fact that I needed to be able to get along with my daughter (if I planned to have a good relationship with her in the future). My efforts had not been driven by the fact that I really NEEDED to change. It wasn't until yesterday that I really realized that I needed to change regardless of having a sensitive daughter or not. I came to the realization that I had been esteeming my "toughness" higher than the sensitive nature of the others close to me. I had viewed their sensitivity as a weakness in their character, and as inferior to my sense of "toughness". I felt that being more sensitive and gentler would be like me stooping down to a lower level. As I was deeply reflective yesterday, I finally saw that if I would open-up and allow myself to be more gentle and sensitive, then I would actually be more of a person and would be utilizing real strength...not weakness (as I HAD viewed it).

These reflections on my behavior and character were painful for me, but I feel it was very necessary. As 2 Corinthians 7 states, "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter...". These biblical words definitely coined the feelings that I was experiencing at that moment, as a result of these revelations.

I also thought about a profound point that Jesus had made on love from enemies. Luke 6:32-33 & 36, quotes, "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And what if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you?...Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." So yeah...what credit to me is it to simply get along with others who are "tough" and just like me? I'll show greater strength and more of Christ's character when I can have mercy and show a gentleness towards those more inclined to sensitivity than I am. I need to STRETCH my character more.

So I felt like, "WOW!" I further realized (after reading a spiritual morning meditation, that afternoon) that the HOME is suppose to be a refuge for the members of a family: a safe, healing haven. I had to ask myself, "Am I honestly providing that type of home emotionally for my children and my husband?" Sure, I may be in the running to be nominated for "Mom that provides a great physically & spiritually filling and safe home". But emotionally, I may not get a passing grade for making the bar.

I realized that I NEEDED help and that is was going to hurt my flesh to succumb, even though my brain and heart were on board. It would hurt me, and thinking about it hurt! However, it was funny that my devotional the day before was on threshing harvested wheat. In the natural, wheat is threshed by a machine that beats or threshes the stalks of wheat. The ripe, good grain is shaken loose and separated from the straw and chaff. Well, in the spiritual realm, God realized that it was harvest time for my character. He was going to have to use His "machine" to thresh my character until he could separate the desired qualities from the undesirable qualities. Oh, well, He did forewarn me that it was harvest time! I guess I did not realize how FUN reaping would be! Gotta love our God!

Between yesterday and this morning, God showed me some scriptures that I need to meditate on and follow. Today turned out to be awesome! First off, I made sure that I apologized to my daughter for my previous actions and any words that I may have spoken that hurt her. During the school day, she did have a breakdown, but today her breakdown was attended to by a mom/teacher that was calmer, gentler, more understanding, and more patient. As a result, her breakdown was short-lived and her progress in class was much more successful.

I guess we' re both on the road to change and healing with God. Praise Him!

Scriptures that will heal me in this matter:

Let your gentleness be evident to all. ~Philippians 4:5

A gentle answer turns away wrath. ~Proverbs 15:1

The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. ~Proverbs 15:4

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. ~Proverbs 16:24
...do not exasperate your children. ~Ephesians 6:4

...do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. ~Colossians 3:21

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. ~Galatians 5:22

Be Blessed!

I Am Content Just the Way He Made Me!

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...~Psalm 139:14

About a month or two ago, I found the need to use scriptures from the Bible to write a special prayer for a young girl who was struggling with her self-esteem. A great deal of her esteem issues were related to her negative feelings about her body size and shape. She was spending many of her days in a depressed state, and although she longed to be smaller in size, the depression was causing her to eat even more (and then feel even worse). I was deeply concerned about the continuing, future affects of such thought patterns on her health and her overall mental well-being and stability. What also bothered me so was the fact that she was so young to carry such a burden.

The only thing I knew to do was to design this prayer for her to pray; to encourage her, to heal her, and transform her. Perhaps you know a young lady experiencing some of the same struggles. Or perhaps, you are that woman. What ever the case, be blessed by this prayer and please pass it on to any others you know in need.

With much love and affections,
~Teri

Dear Father,

I’d like to thank you, in the name of Jesus, for caring for me and harkening your ear to my prayer.

Lord, thank you for creating my inmost being, knitting me together in my mother’s womb. I thank you that when I get down on myself, am sad, and am unpleased about my body, in anyway, I can praise you instead as I remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by you. And, Lord all of your works are wonderful (that includes me). I know that fully well! My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.

I will no longer allow my soul to be downcast over my body shape or size because I know that I am indeed your precious work of art. You are the Potter and I am your clay.

Father, I thank you that you will fulfill your purpose for me, your love, O Lord endures forever-do not abandon me, the works of your hands.

Lord, since I know that apart from you I can do nothing, please help me to be good to my body each day. Let wisdom enter my heart, and let the knowledge be pleasant to my soul. Allow me to be a prudent young lady that gives thought to her actions and steps, especially where my body and health is concerned. Remind me daily that although, everything is permissible for me, not everything is beneficial is for my good health.

I want to love and respect my body because I know that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. I will honor you with my body and offer my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you-this is my spiritual act of worship.

Praise be to God who gives me victory through Jesus Christ!

Amen!

Awaken!

"Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you. " ~Isaiah 60:1

If you are a follower of my blog, you know that more than a week ago, I was having a continual struggle with waking up early each morning. Not only was I awakening too late for a woman with the constant responsibility of a husband and four young children, but it was also WAY too late for one that had the responsibility of spending time with God FIRST and also running a homeschool throughout the greater part of the day.

I knew that my rising each day was not acceptable and felt that it was negatively affecting the way my mood would progress, the way I treated myself and others, and the overall productiveness of the homeschooling day. I longed to arise earlier and sought after God's assistance in the matter. The night of one of my most miserable days, I petitioned the Lord to hear my prayer and to help me out in the matter. This time I was truly serious and desired to change. I was sick of myself!

He INSTANTLY answered me, and woke me up earlier and earlier, each and everyday since. What started off as a 9:00 a.m. wake-up time, progressed to a 5:38 a.m. I have battled no struggle to get up since that day. And honestly, now when I awake, I CANNOT wait to get up and get to my Bible and coffee to start off my day. I love the quiet time to read, to think, to pray, and to even get in a showing of Believer's Voice of Victory on channel 9.

I will not pretend that I feel very awake and vibrant throughout my day...I have not, particularly the last three days (these are the ones that I've been up before 6 a.m.). But I know that this is a work in progress and that my body is simply adjusting to my new schedule. Yes, I took a nap for the past three days around 4:00 p.m. (after school). I am just being patient, however, knowing that I am going from glory to glory each day.

Another challenge that I have experienced over the past few days is that now my baby boy has started to wake up by 6:30 a.m. and slightly interrupt my time. Now the normal Teri would have reacted to this new issue with annoyance and frustration. However, with God's grace I was able to take a deep breath and remember that this is new and I will find ways to work around the kinks. When Joshie crawled in, I got him a bottle, sat him in his seat, and placed him next to me. He eventually settled down or even fell back to sleep. I was still able to have my devotional time; but I tell you what...this new Joshie thing has just encouraged me to get up even earlier to overcome that, and to ensure that my time with God is just me & Him. I cannot express to you how much progress this was for me to meet this challenge in a relaxed, "we can work around this" manner. Praise be to God!

I am further glad to boast that ever since I have been awakening much earlier and getting in that necessary time with God FIRST, I have not had one miserable day, but only marvelous days in succession. It has been refreshing! I guess I should not be surprised because the Bible clearly speaks to us on seeking him first and early.

People, there are benefits in it!:

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.~ Matthew 6:33

I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.~ Proverbs 8:17

O God, You are my God; Early will I seek You...~Psalm 63:1

She gets up while it is still dark...~Proverbs:15

SOoooooooooo........

" Awake, you who sleep,
Arise from the dead,
And Christ will give you light.”~ Eph. 5:14

~Be Blessed...I WAS!

God Speaks!: Miscarriage Story Part 2

God is faithful and God WILL speak to us. The question is, are we listening and do we know how He speaks to us?

Well, God was definitely speaking to me the morning of August 14th (the day before the miscarriage). Early that morning, close to 3:30 a.m., I had awakened to use the bathroom and was a bit concerned when I noticed that the seat of my underwear was pretty bloody. It bothered me, because it was much more than spotting. But I returned to my bed, trying to convince myself not to worry, since most of it was more brown than "new red blood". I couldn't help but to get nervous and worry about my baby's fate. I'd had five pregnancies prior to this one and I'd never experienced that amount of bleeding right at my third month. I had lightly spotted brown blood between my 8th-10th week, but never anything like that. I became consumed with worry and prayed for peace and some rest (considering it was still extremely early and I was hardly prepared to wake-up for the day). I end up softly singing myself a song that was put in my spirit called, "Child of God", and was able to soothe myself back to sleep.

I eventually woke up to truly start my day off, by reading my Woman's Devotional Bible. First I read the suggested scripture verse and then the devotional, "Hope For Your Future", that accompanied it. The scripture came from Jeremiah 31, verses 15-20. As soon as I read over verse 15-17, the words seemed to jump out at me and resound a BOLD message in my spirit. The words read:

"...Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because her children are no more...restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears for your work will be rewarded " declares the Lord. "They will return from the land of the enemy. So there is hope for your future, "declares the Lord.

"Oh no!", I thought. Is God trying to let me know that this baby is not going to make it? Is this a "prep" from Him for a miscarriage. I didn't want to "hear it"! I didn't want to fathom it! I thought that this baby was supposed to be my hope for deliverance from my current situation! How could I lose this!

It's like I was 75% sure after reading it that this was my fate. But 25% of me refused to "hear" the message, wanted to forget it, and focus on "faith". I will be fine and so will this baby!

Now, fast-forwarding to Sunday, August 16th, I was back home from the hospital and at the computer trying to name my lost baby. I specifically recall having difficulty finding a boy's name on-line that meant "hope" (the messages I'd gotten from the sermons I heard while in the hospital), that I actually liked. I finally decided on "Amali" since it meant "hope"; but I really didn't understand the other meanings of "occupation, activity, or my toil" that were also attached to this name. I then carried on to choose the middle name, "Shin", meaning "belief, trust, faith" (more themes from the messages of the sermons).

Almost a month and a half later, I was studying and working on a writing piece named, "Miraculous Autumn Leaves: Time Will Reveal". In my studies, I felt led to look up the dictionary meaning of "harvest" in order to tie it into my theme of Autumn and spiritual maturity. I was almost blown out of my mind when I read the definition, "the result or consequence of activity". "Activity"...one of the meanings of Amali! One of the meanings that had meant NOTHING to me of August 16th, when I named him! I was so excited and overjoyed! My Amali's life DID have a purpose: Because of my activity, My Amali, I was in my harvest time! My time to reap all that I'd sowed. My time to collect the blessings from all my toil over the years! Oh...I was most definitely still carrying Amali-MY HOPE...MY FAITH...for my present and my future!

To add to my joy and praises to my Lord, the morning of November 1st, I was again awakened early. At about 3 a.m. , I awoke to an almost audibly loud call in my sleep. It was like a yell of one word (not on importance to mention the word in this piece), but no one in my room had yelled it to me. I jumped up, decided to use the bathroom, and tried to settle back to sleep. In my failure to return to slumber, I decided to open my bible to read. I unintentionally opened it to Jeremiah 31...SO WE MEET AGAIN!

As I read, I was reminded of the morning of Aug. 14th when I had read those very verses and the devotional that went with it. I had COMPLETELY forgotten about ever reading the scripture before. And honestly, I had truly forgotten that God HAD forewarned and prepared me for this miscarriage (just like the first one); I just did not want to "hear" Him. This time, as I re-read those verses I was astounded when my eyes met the words "my toil" and "hope" within verses 16 and 17. I was completely astounded and had a feeling go through my spirit that I cannot express in words, but it was an elevating feeling. At that moment, I realized that not only had God "prepped" me for Amali Shin's passing, but He had even prophesied to me what his name should be through the scripture; I was just clueless and turned a deaf-ear to His voice that morning. How amazing...when I thought I was the one choosing my son's name after hearing themes in sermons that Sunday morning the 16th, God had already named him on the 14th. I JUST WAS NOT LISTENING!

Yes, God speaks to me! He speaks to me often and many times I "hear" him. He speaks to me through the Holy Spirit and tells me what is yet to come; it is very exciting! But the beauty in all of this is that I am not "God's favorite"...I am not the only one who can talk to God and actually "hear" clear messages from Him. God desires to speak to you, too, and it's possible for you to "hear" him as well. In John 10:3-4, Jesus says that, "(His) sheep follow Him because they know His voice". If you are a born-again Christian and Jesus is your Lord, you CAN "hear" His voice. We just have to DESIRE to hear His voice and not just our voice in prayer to Him. We have to spend time with Him, reading His word, studying it, and meditating on it. Just as you KNOW the voice and nature of your parent, child, or spouse, and this knowledge came from intimacy and time spent with this person. So it is in our relationship with God, as we REALLY get to know Him and DELIGHT ourselves in His word and the things of Him, we WILL know HIS VOICE and recognize where He's leading. He will guide us through His word and give us confirmations of "that word" or message, to ensure to us that we've heard Him. We just must be open to "hear" from Him.

Be Blessed!

Further readings: 2 Peter 1 19-21, John 14:26, John 16:12-13, Acts 9:29

On A Spiritual Vacation

When ever you see this telephone icon, you will know that I have taken a temporary spiritual vacation. I am currently on a spiritual vacation with God and plan to return by this Thursday, November 12th. I apologize if you came here searching for a "word" or to read some comical adventure in my life. I just need these few days to go into "my cave" to study God's word and to do some serious chatting with Him. I am sure my "vacation" will ultimately bless you in the future. Thanks for understanding!

Be Blessed!

Whatever Monday

Well, today was a busy day! Aren't most people's Monday??? My Mondays are usually the day of the week that I use to catch up on business/important emails & phone calls, and homeschool is a half day. We get up as normal (another early morning for me-I'm growing!) and start the homeschool day at its normal time, but we only complete Bible Study and either Math or Spelling before lunch. I prepare lunch and then usher my lovely students out the door and off for their Science adventure with Grandma. I am blessed to presently be near my mother-in-law, who is also a retired classroom teacher, and is a nut for science. During her last years in public school, she served as floating science teacher who went from class to class doing very exciting and intriguing, elementary science activities. I spent one of those years living with her. I hilariously recall her bringing home many of these science projects. We had bean plants growing in cups, crickets in containers, mold growing in controlled environments...and the list goes on. LOL! Bottom-line- She's our gal for science fun & exploration.

So Grandma takes my girls for the afternoon and I usually spent the rest of my time with a quick house clean-up and then some lesson planning or studying of the word. The boys are usually mesmerized with Barney, Elmo, or a Disney flick, as I sit near by with my lessons or my Bible.

Today pretty much went as most Mondays are planned. I had much bigger intentions to blog with greater and deeper substance. But, I did not get to pen anything too profound (although I do feel that I have some profound thoughts considering some challenges I went through this morning). Sorry :-(

For today...you've just experienced a "Moment in My Life"

I promise to get back to you on the miscarriage piece tomorrow.

Be Blessed!

God is Awesome: Even in the Loss of Miscarriage

The Lord is sooooo awesome! I recently had a 2nd miscarriage and was pretty hurt by it. I had experienced my first miscarriage about 3 years before, but had taken that one very well emotionally, although, physically, that one was much more dramatic and life-threatening for me (I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance, and ended up needing a blood transfusion after the D&C). Either way, the Lord was good to me back in 2006, because I felt that he had actually prepped me in advance for that loss. So the actual day that I went to visit my ob/gyn for my first prenatal visit, I was very calm and composed when the bad news was broken to me. For me, the hardest part was having to break it to my 2 1/2 and 7 year old daughters and my husband.

But fast forwarding back to my recent miscarriage...although I was a little bit anxious about this pregnancy (when considering already having 2 small ones still in cloth diapers, and a few other trials going on in my life), I was looking forward to my little Judah Kaili or my little Judah Kaili & Phoenix Ava, together...I always welcome new life in my womb and automatically connect with my child within (no matter how microscopic its form may be). Ironically, two days before I went into the hospital and found out that I'd lost the baby, my baby sister had coerced me to go to Babies R Us. We actually spent about an hour creating a baby registry for Judah & Phoenix.

That Saturday afternoon when I was told about the loss from the emergency room doctor, I balled and balled to myself in the little sterile cubical. I felt lost and had loss! I was already overwhelmed with my current life trials and circumstances, and just felt that the loss of this child just represented more loss in my life. For me, this baby was my hope for deliverance and rebirth from the ashes. So, when I was informed of my miscarriage, I almost lost all hope for life in general.

Medically, my procedure went well & without a hitch, that evening. Health wise, I was great, but my heart hurt so deeply. That night I felt so alone and dejected that I cried my eyes out really hard. I was so emotionally out of control that I was afraid I was going to raise my blood pressure level and have some kind of anxiety attack. I eventually called the nurse in to explain that if they did not give me something to get me to sleep, I was going to drive myself insane.

After getting some meds, I watch an evangelist on television that had a guest on who was talking about hoping against all odds. This message seemed to calm me down, as well (as the meds that is) so that I could get a little rest. I woke up early that morning to watch Joel Osteen and another evangelist preach on being in the "pit of life" and Joseph's life. I took notes on each sermon and truly felt that God had orchestrated everything so that I would catch those specific programs, on that specific Sunday morning, at that specific time in my life. In addition to the message from the evening before, the Sunday morning sermons had focused on not losing hope when you're go through trials in life and the importance of faith. All of these messages put a more peaceful feeling in my heart, as a prepared for my release from the hospital and leap back into my "normal" , dramatic life.

Later that day I felt the need to actually name the child I'd lost and to begin a journal in memory of it. For some reason, I felt strongly that the child may have been a son, so I purposed to find a male name to fit him. I am big on giving meaning to children's' names, so I decided in light of the messages I'd received in the hospital, I'd find him a first and middle name that would represent "hope" and "faith". I also felt that it was going to take some hope and faith to keep me encouraged in my life circumstances. I ended up naming my precious son, Amali Shin Davis. Amali came from the Swahili and Hebrew languages, meaning "occupation, activity, my toil, hope". Shin was of an Asian language, meaning "belief, trust, faith". So there it was! And I titled my journal: Lord of My Womb/In the Pit. The first dedication of the journal reading...Amali Shin (June 2009- August 15, 2009) ~I lovingly carried you for 3 months. Although I thought I was carrying Judah Kaili or both Judah & Phoenix Ava, I still loved you with all my motherly heart. I look forward to hugging & kissing you in Heaven.

More on Amali Shin & God's awesome nature, later...TO BE CONTINUED...

Update on: What a Whack Day I & II

I just thought that you would like to have an update on how my struggle to wake up each morning, has been going. So let's recap the week: Tuesday, woke up at 9 a.m. (WHACK DAY...miserable!), Wednesday, woke up a half an hour earlier at 8:30 a.m. (better day), Thursday, woke up at 7:15 a.m. (great day!), and today, FRIDAY,...the day that I usually struggle with physically and emotionally, each week, for some strange reason...I WEIGHED IN AT A WHOPPING WAKE-UP TIME OF...6:35 a.m.!!!! So far this is panning out to be a wonderful day! I greeted my lovely family with a great Southern breakfast of fried Whiting, grits, and eggs, started the homeschooling day off on-time, took care of some business for my husband, and we're still rolling!!!!!!

Isn't it so awesome how God was faithful through providing me with scripture and a little Holy Spirit nudge each morning to get me up earlier and earlier! I don't use an alarm clock at all. So each morning, I was depending on God to shake me up. And he did! I am also especially thankful for the word He gave me in my spirit, which reminded me that my name is "Teri" (meaning "harvester") and that it IS HARVEST season! How can the harvester sleep in late during the harvest season? She's got a reward to collect and reap. She's got some work to do to receive the results of her planting. With this reminder, I was able to see why it was in Satan's best interest to keep me sluggard-like and slothful each morning. He is also aware that it is MY SEASON TO REAP, so he must pull out all the ammunition he has to put a stop to it (remember- he comes to steal, kill, & destroy). My silly self had been going right along with his plan, until God WOKE ME UP. Praise the Lord! Now I wake up each morning, on-time, just to make sure Satan is clear that I will not miss my season...MY OPPORTUNE TIME!

Be Blessed!

Wrapsody/ Gypsy Mama: Wearing Your Baby and/or Toddler

So... if you followed me all the way to the end yesterday (since I know that I have SOOOOOO many blog followers), you would recall that I wrote the entire blog while my Joshie was strapped on to the front of me. Well, I thought that it was worth it for me to talk and brag a little bit on this wrap that I wore to hold Joshua.

Before I had Joshua, I had bought and wore many different baby wraps/slings that you can purchase at the typical retail stores, with the rest of my children. Because I am WELL ENDOWED (extremely...and not by implant) and my children are usually born big and chunky, many of these wraps/slings were just not making the cut for me. Either they were very uncomfortable for me to wear, causing neck and back discomfort, or the baby was not very comfy and secure in them. There just always seemed to be something about them that just did not work out. And in the end, $30 dollars here for one, and $30 there to try out another, was simply adding up with no success.

Just before Joshua was born, I stumbled across a quaint little cloth diaper boutique in Scottsdale, AZ, that sold a variety of cloth diaper brands, as well as different wraps/slings. The thing that really caught my eye, however, was that the employees in the boutique were both wearing fashionable wraps with their own children attached to them while they went about their work. One of the employees' child was about 14 months old and the other's child was a bit younger. I was totally intrigued and had to inquire about those wraps!

The wonderful young lady gave me a little tutorial on how to use the wrap and noted how much she loved it. My only concern was that the thing was about $70 dollars! What happened to those inexpensive ones, costing like $30?

Well, without much more chatter on this topic, I made the investment and it was the BEST thing I ever did! These wraps are beautiful, DURABLE, and can be wrapped into MANY different positions! There is a wrap position for breastfeeding, for twins, for carrying a baby and a toddler, and even for pregnant women who want to carry their toddler. They are also cool, because the one wrap you buy is useful for a baby as young as a one week old newborn, all the way up to a 2 or 3 year old (although huge Josh will not last that long). As an added perk, the company even provides each owner with an awesome DVD that demonstrates, step by step, how to wrap your baby in all of the many positions. I love it!

This product has been WELL worth my purchase, and I even found it to be a great shower gift for a friend. This wrap has been a lifesaver for me during homeschooling, cooking (although it's not recommended during cooking), typing at the computer, and using the toilet. LOL! I also found certain wrapping methods that helped to take a lot of pressure off of my neck and back, while carrying my child. Wearing Josh with these wraps, also helped him to enjoy longer naps during his early months. And aside from all of the practical benefits it brought me, I enjoyed the closeness, the warmth, the bond that it cultivated between me and my Joshie.

Check it out! I think you'll love it! You can buy it from the company directly at http://www.gypsymama.com/ or even get a better price on-line from http://www.wildflowerdiapers.com/store/pc/home.asp (that awesome little boutique out in Scottsdale, AZ).

I'll be using them for the rest of my tribe to come...REMEMBER...

I'm FERTILEDAVIS!

What a Whack Day Part II- His Mercies Are New Each Morning

If you read my blog yesterday, you would know that I had a miserable Tuesday and that it was mainly due to the fact that I can't wake up in a timely fashion.

Last night while walking the dog, I was glad as I thought about how wise God was to only make 24 hrs. in a day. It gave me hope that this day would not last too much longer and I would finally be able to "lay" it to rest, not too long after this walk with Daisy. Tomorrow would be a new day, a fresh start, another try at creating success.

After walking Daisy, the night just didn't seem to end as quickly or as smoothly as I would have hoped. As I prepared my bed and gathered my blankets for rest, my sensitive and melancholic oldest daughter whined that she needed to have a TALK with me. Considering that it was her moody, negative attitude and unbalanced sensitivity that had added to the drama of my day, I really did not feel that I was up to the challenge of TALKING or being a good listener. She began the discussion in tears. Now in naked honesty, I must admit to you that I callously tried to stop her TALK, due to the fact that I just didn't feel that I could handle the emotions; and I did not feel as sympathetic as I am sure I should have, considering the issue at hand. It was only after my child sobbed to me that I would not even let her get her feelings out, that I knew that I would have to struggle through and MAKE myself listen. Oh MY STRUGGLE to be more sensitive!!!

I got through the discussion and was actually able to remain calm and calm her down, when it was all said and done (this was major). I was then finally able to lie down and put this day to rest. As I laid there, I prayed to God and was straight up honest with Him about my limitations with sensitivity. I realized that the future success of my relationship with my oldest daughter truly depended on me being more sensitive, gentle, and understanding. I couldn't always approach each situation or problem with a tough-love, pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps attitude. The thing was, I knew that without God, I was NOT wired to be that sensitive kind of chick. So, the Lord's power would have to be made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:10). I also prayed that I would be able to wake up a bit earlier the next morning, so that my day would not start off so crazy. Following my prayer, I LAID ME DOWN TO SLEEP for the night.

Welcome, Wednesday!!! And praise the Lord that His mercies are new each morning (Lamentations 3:22-23) ! Though my inner weeping endured for that Tuesday night, my joy came with the start of Wednesday morning (Psalms 30:5)!

Today I woke up about a half an hour earlier than yesterday. Not exactly fantastic, but a better start. I had a much better attitude and thank God, so did ALL of my children. God started me off on the right foot by making it clear to me that we definitely needed to work together to make sure I got up earlier each day. Before I even got out of the bed, I opened my devotional for the day to read, 1 Thessalonians 5:6- So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled. Now, could He get anymore clearer and specific with me about my sleeping issue? He obviously feels that it is an issue and something that WE need to get some control over. It's soooo cool how He speaks to me after I've prayed to Him.

And the answers to my prayers/ God reprimanding me didn't stop there. Later on this morning, he gave me a word to assist me with my NON-sensitive issue while homeschooling. It just happened to be that Troi's bible scripture for her bible study was, Philippians 4:5- Let your gentleness be evident to all. I had to laugh when I read it, because it's so amazing how God never fails to give me what I need exactly when I need it.

And after reading her lesson with her, I somehow stumbled across Mark 4:16 - Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For me, this scripture was God's loving way of reminding me that although He was clearly admonishing me about my late sleeping and insensitivity, I was a day by day work in progress. This was a comfort to be and a way to remind me that I have to be patient with my growth. I cannot be TOO hard on myself, but I definitely do have some more transforming and improving to do.

With that, the rest of my day was awesome! Totally awesome! Great kids, great school day, great strides forward. As I am penning this, it is 10:30 pm and I have my one year old strapped to me with a Gypsy Mama Wrap (a life saver, by the way), just so that I could complete this blog. LOL! I have washed allll of today's dishes, set out my breakfast plates/utensils for the morning, and I am feeling good. Walk Daisy, get in bed, read a devotional, pray, and ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz!

You ROCK, Lord!

What a Whack Day!!!

I am really amped about this month, but today sucks! I woke up late...which means later than I feel that I should to successfully start a homeschooling day, etc... This is a problem that I have been having lately. I really cannot make excuses about why I cannot get this "waking up earlier" thing down packed. But I cannot!!! I really believe that it would be a lot easier for me if I was at my OWN abode. But I am not and won't even go into complaining about that right now. Why? Remember the blog on "Seated in the Pit for the Blessing"????? Well, that's why!

Anyhow (not complaining), if I were in my own home and my day was just not going well, I would X-out homeschooling and spend the rest of the day reading the word, cleaning up the house, or doing anything that would help me to get myself & my surroundings back-on-track. Then, I would feel better about trying "tomorrow" off on a better foot. BUT, because I am not in my own space, and there is always someone else around all day long, I feel the ridiculous pressure of forcing a homeschool day against the grain of the teacher's and students' dispositions. And its kinda like I know that I am setting us all up for an unsuccessful, emotional, miserable school day, by forcing it, but my stupid hang-ups about what someone else (the person who's home all day) may be thinking about me or the judgements they may be making concerning my way of homeschooling, WINS OVER. Henceforth, my day becomes even more stressful and WHACK!!!

SOoooo how can I remedy this? Well, since I cannot leave this location at this current time, and know that I am not mature enough to get over what someone else may or may not be thinking, I can only conclude that getting up earlier is my only solution. Most importantly, however, I am going to have to pray, because I CANNOT get up in the mornings on a consistent basis. This sucks, but I am being honest, I CANNOT! And I can't rely on another human being in this home to wake me up. I wish that I could have someone to shake me or badger me until I just sat up and stood up, but I DON'T. I need some assistance with this issue.

But actually, today I had an issue waking up because of Joshua whining and crying throughout the night (I think it had to do with teething) and the night before I hardly got any sleep. First off, I had to stay up late listening to my husband. Then, when I finally got to sleep, I was strangely awakened by a dream at 3 and couldn't go back to sleep until 4:30. So what can I do with that? It's like I had a reason for waking up late today (a lack of sleep), but it screws me up ALL day. Now, an old, dear friend of mine has unexpectedly knocked on the door to visit. This is the first time all day that I felt relaxed and at peace. But now I must go entertain. What's up with this day!!!