What a Whack Day Part II- His Mercies Are New Each Morning

If you read my blog yesterday, you would know that I had a miserable Tuesday and that it was mainly due to the fact that I can't wake up in a timely fashion.

Last night while walking the dog, I was glad as I thought about how wise God was to only make 24 hrs. in a day. It gave me hope that this day would not last too much longer and I would finally be able to "lay" it to rest, not too long after this walk with Daisy. Tomorrow would be a new day, a fresh start, another try at creating success.

After walking Daisy, the night just didn't seem to end as quickly or as smoothly as I would have hoped. As I prepared my bed and gathered my blankets for rest, my sensitive and melancholic oldest daughter whined that she needed to have a TALK with me. Considering that it was her moody, negative attitude and unbalanced sensitivity that had added to the drama of my day, I really did not feel that I was up to the challenge of TALKING or being a good listener. She began the discussion in tears. Now in naked honesty, I must admit to you that I callously tried to stop her TALK, due to the fact that I just didn't feel that I could handle the emotions; and I did not feel as sympathetic as I am sure I should have, considering the issue at hand. It was only after my child sobbed to me that I would not even let her get her feelings out, that I knew that I would have to struggle through and MAKE myself listen. Oh MY STRUGGLE to be more sensitive!!!

I got through the discussion and was actually able to remain calm and calm her down, when it was all said and done (this was major). I was then finally able to lie down and put this day to rest. As I laid there, I prayed to God and was straight up honest with Him about my limitations with sensitivity. I realized that the future success of my relationship with my oldest daughter truly depended on me being more sensitive, gentle, and understanding. I couldn't always approach each situation or problem with a tough-love, pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps attitude. The thing was, I knew that without God, I was NOT wired to be that sensitive kind of chick. So, the Lord's power would have to be made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:10). I also prayed that I would be able to wake up a bit earlier the next morning, so that my day would not start off so crazy. Following my prayer, I LAID ME DOWN TO SLEEP for the night.

Welcome, Wednesday!!! And praise the Lord that His mercies are new each morning (Lamentations 3:22-23) ! Though my inner weeping endured for that Tuesday night, my joy came with the start of Wednesday morning (Psalms 30:5)!

Today I woke up about a half an hour earlier than yesterday. Not exactly fantastic, but a better start. I had a much better attitude and thank God, so did ALL of my children. God started me off on the right foot by making it clear to me that we definitely needed to work together to make sure I got up earlier each day. Before I even got out of the bed, I opened my devotional for the day to read, 1 Thessalonians 5:6- So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled. Now, could He get anymore clearer and specific with me about my sleeping issue? He obviously feels that it is an issue and something that WE need to get some control over. It's soooo cool how He speaks to me after I've prayed to Him.

And the answers to my prayers/ God reprimanding me didn't stop there. Later on this morning, he gave me a word to assist me with my NON-sensitive issue while homeschooling. It just happened to be that Troi's bible scripture for her bible study was, Philippians 4:5- Let your gentleness be evident to all. I had to laugh when I read it, because it's so amazing how God never fails to give me what I need exactly when I need it.

And after reading her lesson with her, I somehow stumbled across Mark 4:16 - Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For me, this scripture was God's loving way of reminding me that although He was clearly admonishing me about my late sleeping and insensitivity, I was a day by day work in progress. This was a comfort to be and a way to remind me that I have to be patient with my growth. I cannot be TOO hard on myself, but I definitely do have some more transforming and improving to do.

With that, the rest of my day was awesome! Totally awesome! Great kids, great school day, great strides forward. As I am penning this, it is 10:30 pm and I have my one year old strapped to me with a Gypsy Mama Wrap (a life saver, by the way), just so that I could complete this blog. LOL! I have washed allll of today's dishes, set out my breakfast plates/utensils for the morning, and I am feeling good. Walk Daisy, get in bed, read a devotional, pray, and ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz!

You ROCK, Lord!

What a Whack Day!!!

I am really amped about this month, but today sucks! I woke up late...which means later than I feel that I should to successfully start a homeschooling day, etc... This is a problem that I have been having lately. I really cannot make excuses about why I cannot get this "waking up earlier" thing down packed. But I cannot!!! I really believe that it would be a lot easier for me if I was at my OWN abode. But I am not and won't even go into complaining about that right now. Why? Remember the blog on "Seated in the Pit for the Blessing"????? Well, that's why!

Anyhow (not complaining), if I were in my own home and my day was just not going well, I would X-out homeschooling and spend the rest of the day reading the word, cleaning up the house, or doing anything that would help me to get myself & my surroundings back-on-track. Then, I would feel better about trying "tomorrow" off on a better foot. BUT, because I am not in my own space, and there is always someone else around all day long, I feel the ridiculous pressure of forcing a homeschool day against the grain of the teacher's and students' dispositions. And its kinda like I know that I am setting us all up for an unsuccessful, emotional, miserable school day, by forcing it, but my stupid hang-ups about what someone else (the person who's home all day) may be thinking about me or the judgements they may be making concerning my way of homeschooling, WINS OVER. Henceforth, my day becomes even more stressful and WHACK!!!

SOoooo how can I remedy this? Well, since I cannot leave this location at this current time, and know that I am not mature enough to get over what someone else may or may not be thinking, I can only conclude that getting up earlier is my only solution. Most importantly, however, I am going to have to pray, because I CANNOT get up in the mornings on a consistent basis. This sucks, but I am being honest, I CANNOT! And I can't rely on another human being in this home to wake me up. I wish that I could have someone to shake me or badger me until I just sat up and stood up, but I DON'T. I need some assistance with this issue.

But actually, today I had an issue waking up because of Joshua whining and crying throughout the night (I think it had to do with teething) and the night before I hardly got any sleep. First off, I had to stay up late listening to my husband. Then, when I finally got to sleep, I was strangely awakened by a dream at 3 and couldn't go back to sleep until 4:30. So what can I do with that? It's like I had a reason for waking up late today (a lack of sleep), but it screws me up ALL day. Now, an old, dear friend of mine has unexpectedly knocked on the door to visit. This is the first time all day that I felt relaxed and at peace. But now I must go entertain. What's up with this day!!!

What Really Irks Me!!!! No Ride Home From Work

I get TOTALLY irked when from morning throughout the major part of the day, I dedicate all of my time and efforts to feeding, bathing, caring for, and teaching my children...ALL to have my 15-30 mins. on the computer to check my emails, fb account, or to blog, MAJORLY interrupted by my children's foolish arguments, loudness, and ridiculous antics. MY SACRED 30 mins....the only time that I actually get to socialize with real people/adults and express my feelings.

I LOVE homeschooling my children. I do! I love being the one to teach them and not having to spend my day in a public school classroom teaching someone's children. But the one thing that I do miss about working out of the home, or in a public school, is that I had that ride home from work to unwind before I had to meet & greet my children, and put on my "evening hat". For me, that ride home allowed me the time to revive my soul and prepare my mind & body for the tasks ahead of me. It gave me a chance to cool out and listen to some good music. Or it was a time that I listened to an old sermon or Christian talk radio to "get my daily bread" for the evening. It was time with JUST ME, before I had to change hats and meet the demands of being Mommy and Honey, pouring my soul and efforts into others.

With homeschooling there is no ride home. For me, the time that I get, or try to get, to escape to the computer is my make-believe ride home. Sometimes I even get a cup of coffee and sit down with my devotional or bible (mind you, in the midst of all four of my rambunctious, loud crew) and pretend that I stopped off a Starbucks to relax and chill for a while before I made it home from work to the family.

I still have not found a true way to "ride home" in my current situation without extreme disrespect and disregard (or lack of a true understanding) for my transitional ME-TIME. But in the meantime, I will have to take a "spiritual ride home" as I hide myself in God (Psalm 143:9). He'll renew my strength as I wait on him, and He'll even help me to eventually get the true desire of my heart which is just A LITTLE me-time (Isaiah 40:31 & Psalm 37:4)! PRAISE BE TO GOD!

P.S.- I started this blog after homeschool today when I tried to get a "ride home". It was continuously interrupted, so I had to save it to draft. As I am completing this now, it is almost 8 p.m, my daughters are gone for the night, and my two young boys have both fallen asleep at the same time. I am finally getting my "ride home" , and what a wonderful & peaceful ride it is. God is always faithful!