Whatever Monday

Well, today was a busy day! Aren't most people's Monday??? My Mondays are usually the day of the week that I use to catch up on business/important emails & phone calls, and homeschool is a half day. We get up as normal (another early morning for me-I'm growing!) and start the homeschool day at its normal time, but we only complete Bible Study and either Math or Spelling before lunch. I prepare lunch and then usher my lovely students out the door and off for their Science adventure with Grandma. I am blessed to presently be near my mother-in-law, who is also a retired classroom teacher, and is a nut for science. During her last years in public school, she served as floating science teacher who went from class to class doing very exciting and intriguing, elementary science activities. I spent one of those years living with her. I hilariously recall her bringing home many of these science projects. We had bean plants growing in cups, crickets in containers, mold growing in controlled environments...and the list goes on. LOL! Bottom-line- She's our gal for science fun & exploration.

So Grandma takes my girls for the afternoon and I usually spent the rest of my time with a quick house clean-up and then some lesson planning or studying of the word. The boys are usually mesmerized with Barney, Elmo, or a Disney flick, as I sit near by with my lessons or my Bible.

Today pretty much went as most Mondays are planned. I had much bigger intentions to blog with greater and deeper substance. But, I did not get to pen anything too profound (although I do feel that I have some profound thoughts considering some challenges I went through this morning). Sorry :-(

For today...you've just experienced a "Moment in My Life"

I promise to get back to you on the miscarriage piece tomorrow.

Be Blessed!

God is Awesome: Even in the Loss of Miscarriage

The Lord is sooooo awesome! I recently had a 2nd miscarriage and was pretty hurt by it. I had experienced my first miscarriage about 3 years before, but had taken that one very well emotionally, although, physically, that one was much more dramatic and life-threatening for me (I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance, and ended up needing a blood transfusion after the D&C). Either way, the Lord was good to me back in 2006, because I felt that he had actually prepped me in advance for that loss. So the actual day that I went to visit my ob/gyn for my first prenatal visit, I was very calm and composed when the bad news was broken to me. For me, the hardest part was having to break it to my 2 1/2 and 7 year old daughters and my husband.

But fast forwarding back to my recent miscarriage...although I was a little bit anxious about this pregnancy (when considering already having 2 small ones still in cloth diapers, and a few other trials going on in my life), I was looking forward to my little Judah Kaili or my little Judah Kaili & Phoenix Ava, together...I always welcome new life in my womb and automatically connect with my child within (no matter how microscopic its form may be). Ironically, two days before I went into the hospital and found out that I'd lost the baby, my baby sister had coerced me to go to Babies R Us. We actually spent about an hour creating a baby registry for Judah & Phoenix.

That Saturday afternoon when I was told about the loss from the emergency room doctor, I balled and balled to myself in the little sterile cubical. I felt lost and had loss! I was already overwhelmed with my current life trials and circumstances, and just felt that the loss of this child just represented more loss in my life. For me, this baby was my hope for deliverance and rebirth from the ashes. So, when I was informed of my miscarriage, I almost lost all hope for life in general.

Medically, my procedure went well & without a hitch, that evening. Health wise, I was great, but my heart hurt so deeply. That night I felt so alone and dejected that I cried my eyes out really hard. I was so emotionally out of control that I was afraid I was going to raise my blood pressure level and have some kind of anxiety attack. I eventually called the nurse in to explain that if they did not give me something to get me to sleep, I was going to drive myself insane.

After getting some meds, I watch an evangelist on television that had a guest on who was talking about hoping against all odds. This message seemed to calm me down, as well (as the meds that is) so that I could get a little rest. I woke up early that morning to watch Joel Osteen and another evangelist preach on being in the "pit of life" and Joseph's life. I took notes on each sermon and truly felt that God had orchestrated everything so that I would catch those specific programs, on that specific Sunday morning, at that specific time in my life. In addition to the message from the evening before, the Sunday morning sermons had focused on not losing hope when you're go through trials in life and the importance of faith. All of these messages put a more peaceful feeling in my heart, as a prepared for my release from the hospital and leap back into my "normal" , dramatic life.

Later that day I felt the need to actually name the child I'd lost and to begin a journal in memory of it. For some reason, I felt strongly that the child may have been a son, so I purposed to find a male name to fit him. I am big on giving meaning to children's' names, so I decided in light of the messages I'd received in the hospital, I'd find him a first and middle name that would represent "hope" and "faith". I also felt that it was going to take some hope and faith to keep me encouraged in my life circumstances. I ended up naming my precious son, Amali Shin Davis. Amali came from the Swahili and Hebrew languages, meaning "occupation, activity, my toil, hope". Shin was of an Asian language, meaning "belief, trust, faith". So there it was! And I titled my journal: Lord of My Womb/In the Pit. The first dedication of the journal reading...Amali Shin (June 2009- August 15, 2009) ~I lovingly carried you for 3 months. Although I thought I was carrying Judah Kaili or both Judah & Phoenix Ava, I still loved you with all my motherly heart. I look forward to hugging & kissing you in Heaven.

More on Amali Shin & God's awesome nature, later...TO BE CONTINUED...

Wrapsody/ Gypsy Mama: Wearing Your Baby and/or Toddler

So... if you followed me all the way to the end yesterday (since I know that I have SOOOOOO many blog followers), you would recall that I wrote the entire blog while my Joshie was strapped on to the front of me. Well, I thought that it was worth it for me to talk and brag a little bit on this wrap that I wore to hold Joshua.

Before I had Joshua, I had bought and wore many different baby wraps/slings that you can purchase at the typical retail stores, with the rest of my children. Because I am WELL ENDOWED (extremely...and not by implant) and my children are usually born big and chunky, many of these wraps/slings were just not making the cut for me. Either they were very uncomfortable for me to wear, causing neck and back discomfort, or the baby was not very comfy and secure in them. There just always seemed to be something about them that just did not work out. And in the end, $30 dollars here for one, and $30 there to try out another, was simply adding up with no success.

Just before Joshua was born, I stumbled across a quaint little cloth diaper boutique in Scottsdale, AZ, that sold a variety of cloth diaper brands, as well as different wraps/slings. The thing that really caught my eye, however, was that the employees in the boutique were both wearing fashionable wraps with their own children attached to them while they went about their work. One of the employees' child was about 14 months old and the other's child was a bit younger. I was totally intrigued and had to inquire about those wraps!

The wonderful young lady gave me a little tutorial on how to use the wrap and noted how much she loved it. My only concern was that the thing was about $70 dollars! What happened to those inexpensive ones, costing like $30?

Well, without much more chatter on this topic, I made the investment and it was the BEST thing I ever did! These wraps are beautiful, DURABLE, and can be wrapped into MANY different positions! There is a wrap position for breastfeeding, for twins, for carrying a baby and a toddler, and even for pregnant women who want to carry their toddler. They are also cool, because the one wrap you buy is useful for a baby as young as a one week old newborn, all the way up to a 2 or 3 year old (although huge Josh will not last that long). As an added perk, the company even provides each owner with an awesome DVD that demonstrates, step by step, how to wrap your baby in all of the many positions. I love it!

This product has been WELL worth my purchase, and I even found it to be a great shower gift for a friend. This wrap has been a lifesaver for me during homeschooling, cooking (although it's not recommended during cooking), typing at the computer, and using the toilet. LOL! I also found certain wrapping methods that helped to take a lot of pressure off of my neck and back, while carrying my child. Wearing Josh with these wraps, also helped him to enjoy longer naps during his early months. And aside from all of the practical benefits it brought me, I enjoyed the closeness, the warmth, the bond that it cultivated between me and my Joshie.

Check it out! I think you'll love it! You can buy it from the company directly at http://www.gypsymama.com/ or even get a better price on-line from http://www.wildflowerdiapers.com/store/pc/home.asp (that awesome little boutique out in Scottsdale, AZ).

I'll be using them for the rest of my tribe to come...REMEMBER...

I'm FERTILEDAVIS!

What a Whack Day Part II- His Mercies Are New Each Morning

If you read my blog yesterday, you would know that I had a miserable Tuesday and that it was mainly due to the fact that I can't wake up in a timely fashion.

Last night while walking the dog, I was glad as I thought about how wise God was to only make 24 hrs. in a day. It gave me hope that this day would not last too much longer and I would finally be able to "lay" it to rest, not too long after this walk with Daisy. Tomorrow would be a new day, a fresh start, another try at creating success.

After walking Daisy, the night just didn't seem to end as quickly or as smoothly as I would have hoped. As I prepared my bed and gathered my blankets for rest, my sensitive and melancholic oldest daughter whined that she needed to have a TALK with me. Considering that it was her moody, negative attitude and unbalanced sensitivity that had added to the drama of my day, I really did not feel that I was up to the challenge of TALKING or being a good listener. She began the discussion in tears. Now in naked honesty, I must admit to you that I callously tried to stop her TALK, due to the fact that I just didn't feel that I could handle the emotions; and I did not feel as sympathetic as I am sure I should have, considering the issue at hand. It was only after my child sobbed to me that I would not even let her get her feelings out, that I knew that I would have to struggle through and MAKE myself listen. Oh MY STRUGGLE to be more sensitive!!!

I got through the discussion and was actually able to remain calm and calm her down, when it was all said and done (this was major). I was then finally able to lie down and put this day to rest. As I laid there, I prayed to God and was straight up honest with Him about my limitations with sensitivity. I realized that the future success of my relationship with my oldest daughter truly depended on me being more sensitive, gentle, and understanding. I couldn't always approach each situation or problem with a tough-love, pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps attitude. The thing was, I knew that without God, I was NOT wired to be that sensitive kind of chick. So, the Lord's power would have to be made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:10). I also prayed that I would be able to wake up a bit earlier the next morning, so that my day would not start off so crazy. Following my prayer, I LAID ME DOWN TO SLEEP for the night.

Welcome, Wednesday!!! And praise the Lord that His mercies are new each morning (Lamentations 3:22-23) ! Though my inner weeping endured for that Tuesday night, my joy came with the start of Wednesday morning (Psalms 30:5)!

Today I woke up about a half an hour earlier than yesterday. Not exactly fantastic, but a better start. I had a much better attitude and thank God, so did ALL of my children. God started me off on the right foot by making it clear to me that we definitely needed to work together to make sure I got up earlier each day. Before I even got out of the bed, I opened my devotional for the day to read, 1 Thessalonians 5:6- So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled. Now, could He get anymore clearer and specific with me about my sleeping issue? He obviously feels that it is an issue and something that WE need to get some control over. It's soooo cool how He speaks to me after I've prayed to Him.

And the answers to my prayers/ God reprimanding me didn't stop there. Later on this morning, he gave me a word to assist me with my NON-sensitive issue while homeschooling. It just happened to be that Troi's bible scripture for her bible study was, Philippians 4:5- Let your gentleness be evident to all. I had to laugh when I read it, because it's so amazing how God never fails to give me what I need exactly when I need it.

And after reading her lesson with her, I somehow stumbled across Mark 4:16 - Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For me, this scripture was God's loving way of reminding me that although He was clearly admonishing me about my late sleeping and insensitivity, I was a day by day work in progress. This was a comfort to be and a way to remind me that I have to be patient with my growth. I cannot be TOO hard on myself, but I definitely do have some more transforming and improving to do.

With that, the rest of my day was awesome! Totally awesome! Great kids, great school day, great strides forward. As I am penning this, it is 10:30 pm and I have my one year old strapped to me with a Gypsy Mama Wrap (a life saver, by the way), just so that I could complete this blog. LOL! I have washed allll of today's dishes, set out my breakfast plates/utensils for the morning, and I am feeling good. Walk Daisy, get in bed, read a devotional, pray, and ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz!

You ROCK, Lord!

What a Whack Day!!!

I am really amped about this month, but today sucks! I woke up late...which means later than I feel that I should to successfully start a homeschooling day, etc... This is a problem that I have been having lately. I really cannot make excuses about why I cannot get this "waking up earlier" thing down packed. But I cannot!!! I really believe that it would be a lot easier for me if I was at my OWN abode. But I am not and won't even go into complaining about that right now. Why? Remember the blog on "Seated in the Pit for the Blessing"????? Well, that's why!

Anyhow (not complaining), if I were in my own home and my day was just not going well, I would X-out homeschooling and spend the rest of the day reading the word, cleaning up the house, or doing anything that would help me to get myself & my surroundings back-on-track. Then, I would feel better about trying "tomorrow" off on a better foot. BUT, because I am not in my own space, and there is always someone else around all day long, I feel the ridiculous pressure of forcing a homeschool day against the grain of the teacher's and students' dispositions. And its kinda like I know that I am setting us all up for an unsuccessful, emotional, miserable school day, by forcing it, but my stupid hang-ups about what someone else (the person who's home all day) may be thinking about me or the judgements they may be making concerning my way of homeschooling, WINS OVER. Henceforth, my day becomes even more stressful and WHACK!!!

SOoooo how can I remedy this? Well, since I cannot leave this location at this current time, and know that I am not mature enough to get over what someone else may or may not be thinking, I can only conclude that getting up earlier is my only solution. Most importantly, however, I am going to have to pray, because I CANNOT get up in the mornings on a consistent basis. This sucks, but I am being honest, I CANNOT! And I can't rely on another human being in this home to wake me up. I wish that I could have someone to shake me or badger me until I just sat up and stood up, but I DON'T. I need some assistance with this issue.

But actually, today I had an issue waking up because of Joshua whining and crying throughout the night (I think it had to do with teething) and the night before I hardly got any sleep. First off, I had to stay up late listening to my husband. Then, when I finally got to sleep, I was strangely awakened by a dream at 3 and couldn't go back to sleep until 4:30. So what can I do with that? It's like I had a reason for waking up late today (a lack of sleep), but it screws me up ALL day. Now, an old, dear friend of mine has unexpectedly knocked on the door to visit. This is the first time all day that I felt relaxed and at peace. But now I must go entertain. What's up with this day!!!

Who the Heck Am I?

Hello World!
Who the heck I am? Well, I feel like I am often every woman, wearing many hats in this place called life. But seriously, My name is Teri...I am a 37 year old, African-American, Christian woman who wears the HATS of: mother, wife, homeschooler/ former public school teacher, "self-declared" inspirational/devotional writer, & SO MUCH MORE! I am blessed to have been married for 8 1/2 years to one of my high school crushes. And the two of us are even more blessed to be the parents of 5 beautiful children: son 16 (my stepson), daughter 10, daughter 6, son 2, and son 1 (in a week)...and my womb is still available for more as God's will be done. LOL!

So, why am I starting this blogging venture? Since I wear so many hats and have had the opportunity to enjoy many experiences that some people at my age have not, I felt that I may be able to be a blessing to someone out there in cyberspace. I am in no way perfect, and have hardly "arrived", however, I have HAD many experiences and gone through many trials in life that may inspire others. I can relate to many areas of life... been pregnant and had miscarriages, been without and been rich, been single and been married, been a working mother and have stayed home....I am sure you get my drift.

This blogging venture will also serve as a therapeutic way for me to work my way through life and the many demands that are placed on me for donning soooooo many beautiful hats. LOL! I look forward to this new world and hope to get to know you, and bless you at the same time.

Let the adventure begin!!!!